Tyler Perry Presents: Karen Malmquist

SEASON THREE.

Yes, season three had some good moments (“Reunion”, “The Funcooker”), but because the show was in danger of cancellation after season two, they started to pile on the celebrity guest stars, and the result was not good. Sure, the producers had no idea about the Sarah Palin thing when they started filming the season, so they assumed throwing a bunch of A-listers into every episode would get people to watch. Then it stopped being “Let’s see what we can get away with!”, and turned into “Let’s see which famous person we can get for this episode!”

Examples: “Do-Over”, “Believe in the Stars”, “Gavin Volure”, “Goodbye, My Friend”, (actually, there were no big names in this one. It was just bad (CORRECTION, I HAVE BEEN REMINDED THAT JOHN LITHGOW WAS IN THE EPISODE), “The Ones”, “Mama Mia”, “Kidney Now!”.

Don’t get me wrong- season three was still the funniest thing on TV at that time. It was just very underwhelming.

I also did not enjoy “Queen of Jordan”, “It’s Never Too Late for Now”, or “Double-Edged” sword from season five.

That is all.

Oh, jeeze. Well, I have a lot of favorite episodes, so I’ll just list them with a few reasons why for each.

These are only in order of when they aired:

“Pilot” - This is an obvious choice, because it’s the very first episode. Other than that, I love it because all the supporting characters are introduced perfectly. Also, it includes Liz drunkenly dancing on-stage at a strip club, Dot Com hiding his drink in his jacket when Tracy has everyone leave Alfredo with him, Cerie saying “No, thank you” when Liz asks her if she want to get coffee for everyone, Liz handing out hot-dogs to random people, and Pete being impressed by Jack’s market research skills that he used on Liz.

“The Aftermath” - Well, there’s Liz bad-mouthing everyone, only to find out she’s being broadcast throughout the studio. There’s the yacht party, where Cerie is grinding on Kenneth and everyone is irritated when Jenna starts singing and it turns out Tracy stole the boat.

“The Break-Up” - Liz being mean to the guys at the bar, her mozzarella sticks comment, the drunken karaoke, Liz referring to the German Shepherd as a “horse”, Dennis being on “Dateline”… Too perfect.

“The C Word” - This episode is one of my all-time favorites because I went from “seeing a part of myself in Liz” to “Oh, my god. This is exactly me.” I used to have my own local-access sitcom, which unfortunately ended because all of our schedules eventually got too hectic. I was the sole writer as well as one of the actors, and constantly had to deal with similar situations Liz found herself in with the cast and crew of “TGS”. I pulled all-nighters writing and re-writing episodes, and when the producers and I agreed that we needed to get of one of the characters (because the guy playing him was impossible to work with), I felt the exact same way Liz did when she was up all night re-writing “The Amazing Hobo” for Lutz. And while Liz was watching that “Designing Women” episode to get through that night, I was watching “The C Word”, saying “This is my house!” to myself as Liz was saying “This is my house!” to herself.

“The Source Awards” - There are honestly too many great moments to count. Kenneth talking to Ridikulous, Ghostface Killah just being there again, Liz shooting Steven, and best of all: Tracy fearing for his life. Him reflecting on his life while looking at the fake sunset, then telling Kenneth that, “I’ve loved being your mentor, and it’s been an honor having you be my manatee”, and then impersonating Oprah at the Source Awards. It was just wonderful.

“Secrets & Lies” - Frank and Toofer dressing up as each other. The conservative GE executives revealing their secrets, especially the man announcing that he is black, and another man announcing that he murdered his wife. One of the best episode endings I’ve ever seen, on any show.

“Sandwich Day” - Lutz’s un-descended testicles. Kenneth drinking. Liz freaking out about her mac ‘n’ cheese, and then her sandwich. And then her eating the entire sandwich in one take. The fact that a sandwich is more important to her than Floyd.

“Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001” - Liz loses her goddamn mind. Nuff said.

“Anna Howard Shaw Day” - GREATEST QUOTE OF THE ENTIRE SHOW: “Perhaps one day we’ll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists.” Thank you, Dot Com… Oh, and Liz is heavily medicated and imagines her ex-boyfriends working as receptionists. And Liz tries to make-out with a tree.

“Live Show” (both coast version) - IT’S THE LIVE EPISODE.

“TGS Hates Women” - This episode was perfect. Like, season one-level perfect. Abby was the perfect Sarah Silverman caricature, and Liz’s reaction to her is my usual reaction to most female comics. And Abby created the perfect twist ending to the episode. Per. Fect.

“Everything Sunny All the Time Always” - Kim Jon Il. The Alec Baldwin references in the propaganda movies. Liz fixing up her apartment. Her song. The plastic bag.

Okay, I know I’ve already posted for Day 02, but I felt like I should also mention Pete Hornberger. First of all, Scott Adsit needs an Emmy for playing Pete. Second, here’s why: As the producer of “TGS with Tracy Jordan” and Liz’s right-hand man, Pete should be expected to be the voice of reason with his head on straight. Instead, he’s terrified of his wife and children, and is slowly becoming more and more hilariously self-destructive. He gambled his wedding ring away, stuck tumb-tacks into himself “just to feel something”, is in love with his wife’s twin sister, tried to get people to call him Dallas so he can start a new life, drinks alone, clearly hates hims life, and didn’t feel anything when he heard Jenna “died”.

And honestly, Scott Adsit as Pete outdoes any of the “Modern Family” men.